Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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