dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
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you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
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I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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