I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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