If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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