i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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