When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
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What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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