How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
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Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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