don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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