Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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