so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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