you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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