Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think people are normalizing furries
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