erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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