I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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