I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize