I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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