I am spending my child support on dildos
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize