So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
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He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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