In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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