did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
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We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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