i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize