yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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