Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
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Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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