i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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