I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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