You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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