Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize