Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize