rhymes with "ouble enetration"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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