So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize