my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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