adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
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Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Text me some of your sweat
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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