you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dick very happy bro
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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