Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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