If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
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I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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