last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize