What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize