I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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