And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
porn star boner night. come get it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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