Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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