fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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