hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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