wanna go halves on a baby?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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