I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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