your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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