she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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