Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
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Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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