i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
third nipple confirmed
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Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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