you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize