I puked a lego.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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